Tuesday, December 27, 2005

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i'm just feeling down.i want to write what i feel here. how should i phrase it.. why cant i always make it on time? why cant i always play better ? why cant i just listen to the flutesection? why cant i just follow the temo and be strict? why cant i be discipline in counting? why cant i still get it? why must be only AT times? what's wrong with me..
absolutely nothing wrong but why do i failed most of the time? one time is not enough. time is running out. after 2weeks i just forgot everything? no i dint, but i just .. just .. cant do it on time. in case you might be wonderin what i'm talkin bout, its bout the solo which the first trumpet had for King and I. i always asked myself too much questions but there's no solution. HAIIII. i hate myself, for being a music idiot. no talents. just plain stewpid. see? i cant even spell that word. *sighs again* i hope, i can get it, and make sure its on time. i dont wanna drag. i dont wanna rush. just on strictly on time. i must do it. i dont want him to look down on me.,i dont want him to lose faith on me. but i cant blame myself for being so sensitive to what he said durin combine. i think i will never forget what he said.
i think i have not been practisin regularly in arban book... i love the exericises but i must kill my laziness. heh.
i dont wanna think so much. it will make me SAD-er (no such word)

anyway/ today morning meet stephanie at cckstadium at 830am. she was late. -.--- then went do workout.. did the cycling thingy for 20mins. i tink its much easier than actual cycling. chest expansion and all kinds... except the dumbells. i just wanna kill off my fats man. haa.
i'm gettin fatter durin 2months holi. omigosh.

okayy,iam tired. i shall take an early rest. yes. definitely. ;p nighteys everyone


i shall not think so much.

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