okkay, today exchange. woke up 640am =x supposed to reach school at 7am. woke daddy up. hurry up got changed.. reached school , everyone fall-in already. aww, lat efor 15mins. then took te bus to bedoknorth, in te bus goin thru te scores. reached there, whoa,
12 school bands.! imagine te hall packed with people. got chij toopayoh, bedoktown, cck sec.. and of cos,bedoknorth being te host band. hmm. imagined listening to 12 same old set piece, rg raphsody. -.-" rather bored. but different schools hav different kinds of intontation,balance...and so on. i was not allowed to play.so stay behind.hmm. was alright ba. was great. then went for sectionals. so tired. hands n legs so numbed cos was so superb hungry.! then we plaayed w/o scores. with benny, our tutor. till bout 12 plus. packin up that time, met kelvin. of cos. yeah. missed him. i felt that i had neglected him alot. met bettina. xing xing. ;p susu.raf. asmah. eric so dao. khairul also. ahh.i missed those days, when we were together at msia.. in te hotel, roaming around. caught by mr lim. rather sad. but fun. ahah. yeah..

have to study very hard to achieve what i want. as in studies. phy.. maths.. poa.. ____

ayy,
once again,
i want to thank a person.
she may be very important to me,
she let me decide things with fast decision,
clear mind.
and helping me in studies.
talkin to me,
to help me copy well with studies better,
she's
a caring teacher,
concerned,
caring,
even took her precious time teachin me outside
when i'm last min studyin for a maths,
i've seldom came across this kind of tr
and she's

ms lai.

i'm really very thankful for what you did for me.
thanks.
even though i was being so.
rude.selfish. to you.
later i came to realise many things in life.

i've to thank certain teachers too.
without them, i wont be as great as who i am now.
but seriously speaking. i aint any better.
not a great leader.
i want to be potential
to be able to lead people on.
changing everything in me includes
step by step.
attitude always comes first.
maturity.

ms janeong, __ who talked into me when i'was really down over him.even got me smt.thanks.
ms koh hwee cheng., as you know. 1 plus years doin so much things for mee.
who dont even get angry.
i am certain that when my first pay,it goes to a treat for mskoh.
you've been over-nice to me. but. maybe it help me realise more things in life if not for you.


and of cos,
my section mates.
joseph, dris, cat and nat. for being so nice to me eventhough i seldom goes for band.
i promised, that i will attend every prac now.

and becky,
who talked me into takin part in syf.

and last of all,
myself.
being able to pull through ups and downs.

ay, so many tests going on recently. on valentime day, went out with fishhy,steffy,dreyy. went home changed, meet weisheng and yujun at Kbox at lot1.sing like for an hour plus. very short while cos i rushingoff. i so bad, yujun and weisheng paid. yujun paid like 20 plus, weisheng paid 10 cos yujun treat me. thanks, he so good, keep allowing me to sing with te mic solos man but he not even a chance to sing sia. sorry ah, sommore i sang all my fav jay zhou songs. haiyo, then weisheng also got sing. we ate and drink over there. then i asked yujun pei us to watch movie at causeway cos weisheng needed to go off for table tennis training. i meet drey ferst,then yujun tot he forgotten to take his ezlink card,so he ran. i told him meet him at cinema there cos i also rushing time for that show. then i bot te tics with steff fish waiting for us there. we were late for te show,5 mins like that but i tried find yujun ,didnt,so went in w/o him.sorry man. also cant contact him, then i banged onto a guy,his corns dropped onto te floor,he's so fierce . i apologised and faster walked aaway man. i was so like.. afraid sia. then watched te show.keep on crying man,cos very sad. "Moments to remember" ,ought to catch that show,wonderful!! i give 4 out of 5 bites.
then so crowded,cos v day. all te resturants,long queues man. later we went lot1. i meet my kor at te arcade then went to my aunt 's house. reached hm bout 8 plus already. then study,12 plus then sleep man.


tues day arhh, had a study gp with te class. got kewin,dejin,hock,yujun,me,fish,stef,jiayao,thomas. studied at library on a maths,e maths and social studies. had fun too. jiayao taught me a maths, he's so good in teaching man that i understand. then 4 plus left cos i needed go home soon then goin out with relatives maa. then slept an hr, dad came home. brought us to Westlake,our family de fav place. all of us were present,except for my cousin studyin at home man. then all my4 little cute cousins.all like 4 plus years old man. so adorable. really loves them alot.everytime see them, sure hug them man, carry them. ahah. =x this is te good part bout me horh. hee. then we played games with them. aww man, my cousin pulled my shirt till spoilt, so big now but nvm la, at least there's fun for them. hee. took photos with them too. ate so much,ordered bout 10 dishes and then got yusheng AGAIN. -.-" so much food. then around 10pm, we all went to my cousin's house. aww man, zenn can really dance and loves sunyanzi.he'so young. took videos of them dancing . then 11 left,reached home so late already. faster do some revision on social studies. so tired in school today. sorry ah, i so bad to you. and weisheng, ps didnt go watch you for table tennis match, but best of luck always! =)
reached home 4 plus, had dinner already. later go orhh orhh. rest. then study e maths common test tomorrow. aww man, i want to score high high.... aiyo- ___ hai hai . -

so long didnt really had a good chat with you already. hope you're doin very fine now. be sure to treat her nice okayys. ? =) though i really misses you .. every now and then but am trying to.. you know. erase off te memories. sorry, imay have hurt you in some ways, but. hai. enough . just a word, sorry. it might not be easy for me to tkkae actions. but easy to say.

kayys, la. ppl ,enjoy yr readin. ahah. =)

well spent new year. hhaha.
what can i say. fun fun fun. lol-
hmm. i only know that i stayed till very late everyday.

best day was 2 days ago, on a friday. aftr school, 3 plus ms ong, ms liong and ms lai came to my house. had to entertain them n gave ms liong n ong gifts fr our class cos they were leaving soon. then 4 plus. they left lor. my dad fetched me n kor to janice';s condo ,the jade. then swimming with fads plus class guys. later, changed .around 5 plus meet ms jane with class ppl. then headed to my class. fish stef n drey went home to get changed lor. then alot of ppl,very re nnao. then ordered canadian pizza. later fish they all came. whoa! gang fight on bed man. lol. =x then took full photo together.
people who were there, yujun- weisheng- thomas- jiayao- hock- kewin- dejin- eric- fish- stef- jan- ms jane ong- ziyao- thats all ba. plus me n my bro la. then gambled at my dad's study room. i didnt play la. cos ivery busy. haa. then ms jane leavin cos she goin church . so i send her down . she didnt eat te pizza man but paid 10 bucks for us. later pizza came. 34 bucks. got 2 13 inches one. later ate pizza then we all went to fishhy's house bai nian with her daddy. then gambled over there. i got lost money and earn money la. not much actually. around 10 everyone went back to my house, then gambled again. i didnt la. cos very big group too. then 1030 me n hock went to fetch ms koh at the carpark. so funny,she go 4th storey. cos i said wrongly, told her go there. so high n no cars de. lol. cos carpark got linked to my blk ma. then she came. we took photos with her too. haha. then she explored my house lor. then anyhow open my room de cabinets man. so shocked sia. -.-" later on air con. we were in te living room. te guys gambling. then around 11 plus they left. so left me, kor, fish, stef, drey n my y.bro.
all go my room and we gamble la. ms koh real lucky man. i mean those who are bankers la. she lost money still can smile de. haha. and say good to drey cos drey on luck too. then gamble till like 12 am odd. then stef's sister comin over. then ms koh wanna leave. me n drey go send her then she drived us to yew tee 7-11 .bot titbits for us .so good man.n drove us back. and she see us go up n she left liao. we ate te titbits and watched vcds lor. watched till so bored. everyone go my room chat n chat till tired. so prepared to sleep. but cant sleep. haha. so i sing for them la. lol- then they all slept on matress . i so bad horh. =x then 4 am odd felt asleep. stef n her sis left my house early mornin 730am cos dey got smt on. drey n fish still sleeping. 10 plus woke up. then they left. drey go bai nian with her parents ma.
-oN a fRi-

then me n fish goin mrs lai house at bishan there. so meet ms jane ong at woodlands. luckily never meet ms koh at chijmes cos she lost her way . lol. then mrs lai condo so damn big,like palace. then very cool too. her children very cute. we chatted bout our life lor, in regent sec. haiyo. - then ms koh came . lol. later 4 plus we left. ms koh fetched us to bishan mrt statn. ms jane then took taxi go alr. me n fish meet hock at junct 8. shopped around. then met ms koh again. then i bot her te eggy dustbin!! so cute! cos she saw in my room also have then like alot lor. cos my kor that time at msia bot for me. i tot sg dont have but saw so buy la. as valentime gift to her.s he still owed me kinder surprise so long liao. everytime same old reason haha =x then me hock fish went town meet class ppl. i met SYL!!! at cineleisure man. so cool. he very act dao but got smile la.he smiled at yujun man.then he hailed taxi go liao. then i met jamie yeo,crossin the road to youth park ma. then zf came for classouting too. we ate at cinel., then walked to youth park.so many ppl alr.we sat behind lor. saw jamie yeo carrie chong daniel ong grace chua behind talking. then got give out freebies too. we watched halfway, eric n zf went bowling at BP alr. thenbout 8 plus, we left leh. we took bus 190 cos the show abit too long n aiya. not realli interestd too. then we stopped at teckwhye there, cos jiayao said got short cut to his hse. what the hell! was damn scary n dark n eerie leh. we walked fr the drain there fr PJC all the way to villa verde. so scary .ulu ulu kind. but was fun, with the guys. they brought along torch man. then we go jiayao room gambled. his mom gave us hongbao lor. we ate supper there too, his maid cooked for us. then his room very guyish de. all the guns stuffs and ncc de. then gambled till 1130pm all left together. jiayao n eric walked me to my house. we had a great chat while walkin. while te rest walked stef n drey home. was fun with our class guys. on our way home, we met boon eng cos he stayed at villa too. reached home 12 plus le. so tired.
-on a sAt-

ahh- today ah./ dad woked me n my bros up. then we changed liao, went to yum cha at chinatown. so crowded . got alot of angmohs// then ate abit already very full liao. i love chinese tea man// so nice. in fact ,all kind of teas// and starbucks coffee // then fetched my didi to northvale his friend's house, fetched kor to sim lim. i nothing to do, so go home lor. intended to go swimming. but dont know if fish they all want. ya. then thats all lor. now at home.boring boring ahh./ =.-

a day. great day i guessed. woke up 6 but slept very late.i still cant forget those sad memories.
then headed to sch. was late for 5 mins. then i leaded then. started to last min plan games. as in the places. n then. was ok lar. in te bus, jordan talked to me. bout him. but i dontknow what should i say. k. enough.
then. keep on cheering n cheering. to ease off my sadness n sorrows. was feeling better too. and then have band phtoo takin session.
and then ice breakers n stuffs. k. a bbit boring. so tried to make them high as in.more fun la.
later played scavenger hunt.so thrilling.then dog n bone game. keep on shouting here n there.
took bus back later. meet fish. went to lot1 for lunch.reached home bout 4pm then sleep.then aunt n family came.went for reunion dinner. they drink beer man!.only certain happy occasions la. ate alot.cos is supposed to reunion dinner.mom gave me red pakt le.

then family watching my date with te vampire part 3 alr. got 2 parts man.so many cds. sommore ytd mom justbot.was like.it cost 70 bucks. whoaa. i think quite nice.
later have to watch the MILK fund vcd n see if i can write e script.

my auntie n family here man. so cool. anywayy. haiyo. alot of things have been troubling me.

.....
why life has to be like that.??

a day. a sad day. a sad sad day. hai- why. i cried for 2 days alr. was v upset today too. i cried durin chinese for 2 periods. cos i cant help take it. accepting e truth. isnot easy for me. i just cant accept te fact that they are together why. i was very heart broken.later fads hock kewin cheered me wup. then after sch went to look for ms lai.shewasnt there.llooked for mstan,poa test de explanation.went to her class 3-8. then. i see her bag. inside got te dontknow what lavender cream. she gave me some. so oily. but te smell was alright. then on te way back to my class,i met ms koh. she told me smt.i was upset. and walked away. n cried terribly again. hock kewin dey all consoled me back in my class. they were friends who were ther for me when i'm down. for the first time,i cried over a guy so much.yeah// hai/.

then have lunch in school.supposed to go lot1 with fads n some other guys but. my mom called me asked me rush home cos goin bugis. after lunch,looked for te trainee ms ong, talked to her bout him. cos i cant help being kept in me.we exchange no. so can sms lor. n then took a pic of me in her wallpaper.went home with fish n drey. then reached home,mom said too late so in te evening went to causeway point. met my bro there. bot shoes alr. shopped ard. mom bot vcds again. a date with te vampire part 3. she said watched at night durin new year -.-

then went home. tired. tired. no mood eat. dinner was mac meal but ate v little.

those ppl who cheered me up alot,thanks. ms ong,ms jane ong,fish,drey,stef,mengyi,sokwen,yvonne ng,kewin,hockleong, esp ms jane ong..who made some sense into my mind. but. i jsut cant forget him,never again..

myendlessloveforyou.

today's a bad day for me. ever since last night,i felt like crying but i burst into tears aftr sch. i couldnt help take it when it happened right before me., in my class. it mademe hurt. i know.i know. its impossible for me and him. the girl was with her in my class after sch. i was havin a mixed feeling.dontknow whatto decide. ppl comfort me but i just felt terrible. is he pretendin to be so good to me or what? he gave a gift which he bot fr overseas ytd personally. we were on te phone chatting so happily a few days ago. but today???!! it happened. if they're really patching to what they used to be, i will only have to congrats them and wish them all te best then. i've nothing more else to say. its his happiness he's looking for. and great that he found it at last. i will be very happy for him then, but sadness filled my heart inside me. why do i have to pretend to be so cheerful n happy when i'm not? i pretendin everyday. but isnt tt great?? hai- its has alr happened . i've nothing more else to say now. and i dont wish to comment anything bout it. i dont want it to affect my studies, my entire life.

i failed phy, chem n poa tests.was actually a big blow for me but i pretended. why again do ihave to do this? i hate science. no matter how much i study, i definitely fail. poa? i hate it-the basics. hai- but am just glad that trs in cca room 6 are encouragin me to work harder. thanks. i seldom see ppl supporting me in studies. nobody cares for me. but until i met these trs who cared for me,teach me.
i'm tired,i'm sick.i'm dying soon.i'm overworkedwith studies.

this is a bad day. for me.

later am goin out with mom to buy newyear clothings ..... yeah. thats a good thing. sorrycant make it for today's band . as i've explained .

does she really pampered me alot? why is she treating me so good, like a v v close friend.?
i just know that i get along real well with teachers especially than friends. adults are nice to talk to. they can understand and have more experiences than us. thats te good thing.

i beginning to feel that i'm goin back to my old self. no way man! i hope i will be able to become better as days pass byy. a better person. better results. improving my studies. and. lets not talk bout him anymore. i'm being hurt. but i will easily soon forget n cheer up. but later will rmb everything again. for te many times, i cried over him-

days r just like paintings, u need aspirations to go by.

am backk. umm, few days didnt post. so tired fr sch. taxin life man. ytd reached hm 730. today ard 8pm man- ay.. busy life for me. umm, today went macritchie w ms loh n few more bandmates regardin treking on comin sat. walked like 2 hrs?

today received chocolate from ms ong!! she's so good man- aha. then ms tan gave me dove choco!! 2 days ago ms koh gave me kinda bueno!!!! whoa- everyday got choco. sofun- ms leong dont wanna give me choco. =( sad leh- aha. anyway, e current trainee trs fr NIE rather fun la. i mean dey are like err. friendly ? lol- i mean it. nice trs . regent shld have more of this kind of trs.. anyway, those trs i mentioned above, thanks horh. =) i want kinda surprise . the egg one . inside got toy!! must buy for daz here horh. i so well liked by ppl and so cute too- ye, thanks. i know. lol.

ytd mr tan took taxi fetched me to yew tee control! lol. mr hector so good. he so ke ai just like me man- anyway. today. hmm. poa test i failed but just glad that out of 30, i got 10. good enough alr.la. i dont expect more cos is a new sub to me. zz. x= but for math must expect v high. if i get low, i v upset man. as for chem n phy tests, sure fail . oh no- am afraid tmr got A math surprise test. arghh. then jia lat liao larr.

haii-- i missed him. ms koh told me a good news bout him but not for me. hai, i knew it. very upset. so mood. to do anything alr. just now anyhow do math. haii. then i keep on thinkin. : no use to be sad . have to be happy for him alr. when he's happy, i 'll feel happy too. i seldom see him so happy. we used to hold conversations . even though now also. but. time flies. its te 148th day alr. half a yr. waiting. for whatt? sound so foolish. 've nothing to comment. but just very happy he gave me smt today, - personally in class when no one's around. am just glad. a gift means alot. its shows care, concern. yeah.- i wish him all te best as for now. hoping that dey will patch again. is it possible ? i dont know- but m happy forhim









is it so hard to live through those unhappiness, sad memories, lonliness.?