alot of things happened. im very dissappointed n pissed. for e first time in my 2 plus years in Regent,seeing myself dissappointed in something which i shouldnt even bother THAT MUCH or will even heck care bout this. he's getting too much. is there such thing as,attitude sucks?? each person will have good n bad points. we can learn fr it, as for e not so good points, we might ..try talkin to e person? improvise it. today i had a stiff with jordan, by e way, this are my points of view.you might not need to agree with whatever i mention here and this is my blog.. i'm free to do whatever i like. getting straight to te point, many people saw both of us quarrelling. its getting out of my control. i didnt want to start te arguement,it became very heated that ppl had to stop us. i shooted him, whatever i could think bout him. the many things which i were unhappy with , its reasonable enough. he had no right to pump me. he's not a Qm already. but i was still down for 60. i've been like ,controlling my temper for so long.how many days. i know i was hot-tempered and got a bad attitude. but i really tried to change. and what happened today, i threw the band's reputation off. why is he still so stubborn?? thought that he said he could take straightforwardness,but did he accept whatever i shouted at him. maybe my tone was too harsh... i was really very pissed. this mornin he scolded me for takin his job when i was just cleanin the whiteboard of e yesterday's attendance. he scolded me a vulgar word. what e heck. he stared hard at me when he came down late for e band's attendance. he said he controlling e rest of e ppl in e musicroom,then what are e rest of the 9 0cs for?? this mornin wanted to take a tuner to tune my trumpet before combine.he didnt even allow me to take e tuner. i was very angry then. what's e meaning of this. he wants to pick out all my mistakes. what bout him himself? he think he's perfectly alright. he think he's great. thats why ppl respect him. actually,he earns people respect,which is a good point. he can lead. he can do things perfectly fine,but he only let us know last-min when we need to go to school to do flagpole. is always LAST MIN ,LAST MIN. cant he just tell us in advance and expect us to pass around to te people. we are organised, but. we cant work well although we always have mini-sessions but ourselves. why do i have to bother so much.? aww mann, i'm really not myself. i'm really getting sick and tired. and a stupid headache is bothering me.
actually, i didnt even want to pick on him he's alright cept that smts.. yeah. i may have many bad points too. he told my alot of secs starting to hate me, and he didnt even tell me what was it and stuffs like that. i need people's views strongly,really. but, i think i wont be even bothering bout band stuffs anymore except bout my own section,is what i worry. but i can see improvement which is rather good. oooh no, i dontknow why. didnt even take dinner except for dessert . i really have no appetitie to eat,even after long marching hours. and i dont know whether i should even go down bedoknorth tomorrow for marching and combine. too tired. i needa break.camp is just next tues.everything is so rushed. i hating him so much now. i dont even want to talk to him but we really need to sort this things out.we had to. but howw. i totally have no idea bout this. hai.

jus now i took panadol actifast . guessed what. i cant even swallow e pill that i spit out man. zzz. what a waste. after marching session today, i realised that, i learnt how to endure. quite happy with myself .. and while marching,heard our sec1s playin hey jude. they were. omg. unbelivable. i'm so happy for my juniors. i can hear that melody so well and clear. gosh.. they were great. was v touched when i heard becky telling me that some of their blogs..can write things like wanting to impress seniors and getting into main band asap.. heh. hope none of them willquit band lor. then dey will be e largest batch.today marching learnt 2 pictures in one e many pictures for stars n stripes. rather fun. bdn came over. diwadeb was so funny,keep on smiling at me cos he's playin e bass drum when i was playin. even rest parts. digambar so different from him.. one so good looking,the other so cute. hee. we exchanged no. went dinner w becky,minfang,zhenjun and pauline. pauline and i were so crazy.we took llike 10 shots on becky;s hp.think she will lik it. zhenjun and i took lotsa shots too. becky was like,keep on smsing digambar.whoa!! ;p she ate so much!dumplings,chickenrice,2drinks,and 1 more dish. she rocks man. i only took a dessert lor. -.-" she wants to get into school's taf club.think is rather fun. lol. and then had a talk w her.reached home 8 plus.just in time to catch 9pm show.and had a conference talk just now.but all seemed tired.


i cant take it anymore.i know,yes. i may be hot tempered. attitude not very good. but . i'm really very dissappointed,in myself. i always failed in whatever i do. i dont succeed that much. hai. playin a piece seems easy.but. my rythem sucks. school works also te same.so lousy
.might as well like.just quit school. i thought of that before. my future , i always have big dreams. to make it come true, you have to go through e ups and downs. but. i always stopped halfway up, i dont have a positive mind. in studying.and in music. hai.. i dont play that well on my trumpet. cant hold a note properly without goin sharp or flat lor.

i hate to talk bout my family. zzz. it sucks .

i hate everything in this world.



ijusthateit.